understand yourself
Audit your conflict patterns
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling — most people use at least one. Find out which ones show up in your relationships.
How often do you reach for each?
Criticism
Turning a complaint into a character verdict — 'you always' or 'you never' attached to a trait.
Contempt
Communicating superiority — mockery, eye-rolling, sneering, dismissiveness.
Defensiveness
Counter-attacking or playing victim instead of hearing the concern.
Stonewalling
Complete shutdown — withdrawal, silence, physical or emotional absence.